Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Struggle Today
Good evening...today was "one of those days." From the beginning it had the thickness of disfunction all over it. We had been in our weekly staff meeting maybe 30 minutes when a guy who has created problems for six years showed up, expected us to pay his cab bill and then began making threats toward the pastor and his family and cursing at the top of his lungs. We called the cops...twice. They came...twice. He is quite possibly one of the most difficult people I have ever seen...when he is on crack. When clean, he is as meek as a lamb. Then I got to deal with two people who have consumed much of our time in the past two months. Quite possibly the most disfunctional relationship I have ever witnessed. Both are good people, both are crack addicts and professional liars. I then went to speak with a guy I like a whole lot who lives in our recovery house...he is a wonderful guy but struggles with an addiction that is getting the better of him right now. He is smart, funny and capable of so much more. I tried to talk with him about going to treatment. We'll see where it goes. Hopefully he will let me know something on Thursday. I drove home thinking about boundaries...still struggling with boundaries. I have always worked in contexts where guidelines and rules were followed and everyone could follow them and if not, there were consequences. I am now working in a context where all the folks who couldn't follow them come! And we are supposed to provide structure and a model of living for these folks. The problem is confounding and troubling to me. I want it to be so easy. I want it to be black and white. It would be so much easier. Am I wrong for feeling this way?
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2 comments:
You are so not wrong for feeling this way. That's what most of your and my life has been, easy. You have gone from one extreme to the other my friend. Central to Penn. Think about this. It appears as though you have joined some boot camp that is going to be difficult for you. 6 a.m.? Who would not think that was difficult. So whatever the devil and his gansters can put in your way so you won't want to get up at 6 a.m. the next day and the next day, they will do. Back a few years ago I got disciplined and started exercising, faithfully for once. Not long after that I got disciplined in my devotional life as well and great things happened. Who knows what God has in store for you at boot camp. Who knows what God has in store for you tomorrow after boot camp at 10th and Penn. Keep up the good work. Keep trying to figure out the boundary situation. You will be a much better man with them I guarantee. I could say so much more, but this is getting way too long. Hug your wife for me.
Thanks Becky. It's just been one of those very difficult weeks. The enemy (insert ominous Dante's Divine Comedy devil here...or anything else that evil gets personified in) has been very difficult to the ministry this week. I won't go into great detail but suffice it to say that people who we love very much and have been very stable and strong to this point since we have arrived have really been taking a beating. One has maintained...others have not. It's crazy...but we would not change it for the world. It was great to see you guys in KC. We miss you both...and your girls...a whole bunch. Looking forward to seeing you in OKC. Take care.
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